🪄 Happy fresh new week, alchemists!! ✨

Reporting to you LIVE from a family visit in Puerto Rico, a belly full of espresso, and a soul ready to talk detachment.

Detachment is THE missing piece to getting everything you desire. Mastering detachment is mastering the flow of life, and once you are in flow, you are in alignment. Once you are in alignment, there is absolutely nothing separating you from who you are now to who you want to be.

Detachment isn’t really something you do. It’s not an end-state. It’s a practice of remembering who you are and reminding yourself that it truly always works out better than you could imagine. All emotions and experiences are here to teach us, so trust your human-ness and lean into them.

If you clicked on this letter because you want to detach from a person, an outcome, the way others see you, or worries currently plaguing your mind… the principles remain the same.

Here are the 4 mindset shifts that help me SNAP BACK into detachment. 🫰

& hit reply and let me know what you’re currently working on, and what you want to learn more about! 🤍

1. Nothing EXTERNAL can fill an INTERNAL void. Let it go, and it will come.

If you feel unworthy or uneasy without it, you will feel unworthy and uneasy with it.

Whether it’s a relationship, a raise, a new wardrobe, or validation from strangers… whatever feeling you think it will give you is an illusion.

A dog is extremely convinced that catching this strange, yet enticing furry object will bring satisfaction... so much so that it will run around in circles to get it.

But once it finally bites down and clings on, it realizes it’s chasing its own tail. Everything it was searching for was already a part of itself, and thinking otherwise made it hurt and dizzy.

Don’t make yourself hurt and dizzy by assigning meaning and importance that might not even be there. If you find your heart aching thinking about something you desire, or want to detach from, then…

📝🪽 BRAIN DUMP! Ask yourself:

• Have you been filling your own cup lately, with activities that gift you energy?

• Have you been allowing yourself to experience, and I mean FULLY experience, any heightened emotions you would feel when getting the thing, now?

• Have you been holding onto a story that no longer serves you?

• What would it look like to be even just 10% more gentle to yourself in this process?

I used to think that getting attention or an apology from someone in my past meant I was finally able to move on and let go. 

I didn’t see it at the time, but all the reassurance, clarity, and closure I craved was an internal shift. I needed to fill my OWN cup (i.e., sinking my energy into what fueled me rather than people who depleted me), and then everything changed.

How do I know this? One random morning, this person did text me a paragraph, apologizing and wanting to see me, and I saw right through the illusion. I saw that they were actually a little coo-coo, that this entire time they were using me for validation, and that this whole thing was just a weird, icky game that my nervous system was no longer in alignment with. I blocked the number and never saw them again.

Things only went up from there. This was because you can offer yourself the unconditional, spectacular love, safety, and joy you are looking for. Only by doing that first can people on that same vibration meet you there. My partner now is a trillion times better than that person from my past.

So pop the illusion. Allow yourself to give yourself the end feeling state now.

2. Audit your time + energy.

I think about the impermanence of life DEEPLY and OFTEN.

This is because the majority of people (especially young people) don’t recognize the value of our time, so we invest it wherever. Shitty relationships, scrolling brain rot, feeding limitations, or negative beliefs. It’s so easy to stay stuck in old patterns when you forget the value of your time.

Think about how quickly this past year went.

For me, each year has gone by even quicker than the last.

Don’t allow this to scare or worry you. Allow it to help you by snapping you back to reality: your time is limited and precious.

Your time + your focus = your energy. Where you put your energy is the reality you are creating!!! Spend it wisely.

Take a moment to decipher your energy givers vs. your energy takers and… of course…

📝🪽 BRAIN DUMP! Ask yourself:

• What are my personal energy givers?

• Where can I gift more space and time for them?

• Where may I be sinking a little too much energy into an “energy taker”?

• What is a boundary I can set on that energy taker?

3. Become the MASTER of your emotions (but not in the way you think…)

I don’t mean this in the “stoic” gym bro sense (no offense to any stoic gym bros who may be reading), where you shouldn’t feel ANY negative or heavy emotions, because that’s not possible. We are literally human, hello??

I mean, observe how thoughts and emotions are just a cloud of passing energy moving through your body.

They are not permanent. Many of them, especially the ones that make you feel tense and anxious, are not even true (click here for my letter on intuition vs. anxiety😉).

We’ve been conditioned to think that a feeling of doubt, fear, heartbreak, frustration, etc., means we are doing something wrong, when that’s not true. Our body may just be communicating with us.

Think about this from an evolutionary standpoint: emotions were designed to send us signals. Whether it’s a boundary that was crossed, you feel unsafe, you need to lift some weights, write a song, or you need a hug, emotions communicate those things to you. They are really damn helpful.

So, rather than FIGHT the emotion or pretend it doesn’t exist (click here for my meditation on releasing trapped emotions)… ask it what it needs. It is a passing energy moving through your body, that will help you if you help it. It is nothing to fear or avoid.

It will all be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay… it is not the end.

4. Nothing changes your life quicker than gratitude.

There is something you have now that you once wished for.

There was something you once feared or hoped to get out of that you are no longer in.

Our brains are wired for survival, so we have a negativity bias. Rather than naturally appreciating all the blessings and miracles constantly surrounding us, our brain jumps to the next complaint or what is going wrong.

Gratitude and appreciation is a skill. If you can’t be grateful for the tiny things, you won’t be grateful for the big things when they come.

I make a gratitude list every single day, first thing in the morning or right before bed. I keep a journal on my pillow to remember to do it.

You need to stop your brain from getting in your way by listening to thoughts like, “this is silly” or “this is useless.” Why? Gratitude is the most attractive and abundant emotion. Every single quantum leap I’ve EVER had (being a C-student to graduating from a top college in psych + neuro, 300 to 10k followers in 2 weeks, deep depression pits to the life of my dreams), I was operating from the emotion of gratitude.

It’s human and normal to feel blocks, fear, doubts, and anxiety. Again, they are passing energy moving through your body, but you can still practice gratitude when you are experiencing them. Sometimes I even write in my gratitude lists that I’m grateful for my negative emotions, because they taught me SO much, they tell me where NOT to go, and if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have the most incredible community of you all.

If you want to release trapped emotions & align with your highest self, use my meditations!

If you want to shift your energy in 2 weeks, grab my workbook!! (I’m going to be removing it soon to create a community-based program!!! Eeeeeee!!! Let me know if you want me to put your details on a pre-registration list! ✨🥹)

As always, I love you dearly.

KEEP ALCHEMIZING! ✨💫

With love,

Emma