🌙 Hello, Alchemists! Happy Tuesday 🌸✨

Before we get into today’s letter, hit Reply and tell me what you’re currently working on and what you want to learn more of! I read every response 🫶

Every time you feel resistance, that is a form of self-sabotage.

I noticed this with myself earlier today. I was editing a YouTube video and started getting self-critical about my delivery. This, of course, resulted in pressure in my chest and throat, and ZAPPED my desire to create.

THAT’S an example of an unconscious block. My perfectionism was saying thoughts like:

• “This isn’t good enough.”

• “We should redo this.”

• “What if… [insert whatever tf here].”

Wanna know how it’s unconscious? Because the thoughts were masquerading as truth.

My brain was trying to trick me into staying in a reality of rigidity and perfectionism…. when, every single time I’ve embraced putting myself out there imperfectly, I’ve been rewarded. Our brains are just trying to keep us safe in our familiar comfort zone.

SO! Let’s deep dive into these unconscious blocks, shall we?

Subconscious blocks may arise in many different forms:

• Self-doubt.

  • “I can’t because ________.”

  • “It’ll be too hard because ________.”

• Procrastination.

  • “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

  • “I’ll start next month.”

  • Every single time you feel that resistance before starting today… that is procrastination (again, resistance is a form of self-sabotage).

• Perfectionism.

  • Thinking that you need to wait for the right moment, that you need to show up perfectly, that things need to be EXACTLY in order before you make a change. It doesn’t work like that. The change happens FIRST, and THEN the rest falls into place.

• Rumination.

  • Staying stuck in the past is a HUGE form of self-sabotage because it keeps you stuck in shame and scarcity rather than recognizing the abundance around you in any given moment (if you struggle with this, I recommend my workbook and somatic meditation).

• Living in constant fight or flight.

  • If your body can’t feel safe, it can’t feel safe receiving.

PART I: Recognize your old stories & beliefs.

Holding onto old stories is a huge form of self-sabotage. It took me years to get over thinking that I was “ugly” because of the bullying I used to get growing up. My brain was literally wired to notice any imperfections because I had “friends” who would constantly point them out at such a young age. They also used to make fun of my clothes and where I lived, since I was a first-generation, low-income student.

With the negative emotions of shame and fear, I was trained to be self-conscious of things that didn’t even matter.

When you’re a child, you can’t control that. However, as an adult, it is your responsibility to acknowledge and FEEL those emotions, AND to choose a new reality to live in. Only YOU can rewrite your story now.

📝🪽 JOURNAL TIME! Ask yourself:

1. What are the “old stories” I’m holding onto that keep me small?

2. If I continue to entertain them, where do I feel tension in my body? What underlying emotion is present?

3. If I were to breathe deeply and tell myself it’s actually not true, and that this tension is my body’s way of communicating that… how does that make me feel?

Remember, folks: Truth (with a CAPITAL T) will always always always make your body feel LIGHT. Your body is so wise and is always sending you signals and data.

If a thought leaves you feeling tense, anxious, and ruminating, that’s how you know you’re feeding an old trigger rather than actually living in reality. Here’s more on this, and how to know if it’s your intuition or anxiety.

PART II: DECIDE it is yours, and it will be.

Okay… so you’ve started to acknowledge old beliefs and patterns that are no longer of service to you that fit an OLD identity.

In the process of feeling and releasing emotions, a lot of weirdness is going to come up. Confusion. Anger. Frustration. Joy. Relief. Maybe back to confusion.

During this process, recognize that these emotions are HUMAN and normal.

It is none of our business to try to stop thinking about something or to stop feeling something. We can’t control that.

What we can control is:

• Our identity (read this old letter for identity work 101).

• What we DO about the emotion when it arises.

• How we show up for ourselves and take care of ourselves.

• The perspective we choose to have. Every perspective is a choice.

Now that you have an understanding of your past stories and are allowing yourself to fully feel emotions when they arise, it’s time to get into the driver's seat to decide your new story. The one that feels FULLY in alignment with you.

Remember:

• What feels “urgent” and anxiety-inducing does not come from Source.

• Just because something used to be one way, that does. not. ever. mean. that it needs to continue being that way. You are in control here.

📝🪽 JOURNAL TIME! Ask yourself:

1. If I visualize my life a year from now and all of my wildest desires came true (no limits, remember!), what would that feel like? How does my body feel?

2. What would this future version of me tell me?

3. What are some areas in my life where I can lean into more trust, light, and joy?

…now, decide that it is yours. This is who you are, effortlessly. You already are all that you desire. You already ARE the person of your dreams, living in magic and the generous present moment.

At our core, we are love. At our core, we are trusting and in surrender, with no need to control. Emotions are just temporary feeling states, just energy passing through your body.

Blockages, intrusive thoughts, doubts— they may all arise at some point. But YOU are in the driver’s seat. You are having a human experience and have the power to redirect.

HAPPY APRIL, MY LOVES! ✨💕

All the best always,

Emma