How to get everything you want & stop suffering: IDENTITY WORK 101.

Happy Sunday, you alchemist! 🫶🌞

An alchemist is someone who turns the heaviness and negativity in their life into gold.

You’ve already done so much by being attracted to and following this type of work.

Today, we’re going one step deeper (get excited!!🤭).

If there is one thing that has changed my life the most and quantum-leaped me into a completely new timeline multiple times, it’s been identity work.

Think about it like this:

Everything in your current life is a result of your identity. Your thought patterns, your relationships, your perspective, your finances, everything.

You don't create abundance.

You don’t create joy.

You don’t even create your dream reality.

Those things we seek are always present within us (yep, not outside of you, within you).

But… you do create limitations. You create blockages.

By holding onto an old identity that no longer fits, you are restricting the flow of life.

So you unconsciously block everything you want from effortlessly flowing to you.

This is what your identity controls:

• How you think the world works (your entire lens of reality)

• What you believe you deserve (the treatment, love, and success you allow in)

• The opportunities and details you notice (your subconscious mind takes in about 11 million bits of information every second, but only 40–50 bits reach your conscious awareness. Your identity decides what makes it through.)

• The thoughts you repeat (because your brain is wired to confirm what you already believe about yourself)

• The energy you radiate (…and what people subconsciously mirror back to you)

If you want action steps on shifting your identity, here’s how you do it.

1. Notice where you are holding onto resistance and pain.

Suffering and resistance are indicators of a blockage, meaning you’re holding onto an old identity that no longer fits with who you are meant to be.

This is a really powerful mindset shift: all the thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs that are causing you resistance and pain are not Truth (as Truth always feels light and freeing). There are growing pains for your new identity.

You are being shown exactly what parts of you need more love. What a gift!!

Change is the only constant. So expect this resistance to come up periodically, just like seasons. You claim back your power by not immediately identifying with it and sitting with it to actually listen to what it has to say.

As some of you may know, when I was in the process of manifesting a healthy, long-term partner, I attracted the same situationship 3 times with 3 different men in less than a year. At the third one, when my nervous system was completely dysregulated, I realized that I was the problem. I was the one who kept myself in the same cycle.

That old identity that stayed in situationships was not in alignment with the confident, stable woman who is in a loving partnership.

But! I felt resistance and pain every time I wanted to communicate my boundaries or whenever I felt I needed external validation. I was so scared of sitting with those feelings that I immediately believed them and attracted the wrong people.

2. Your life changes when you decide to become a new person. You gotta be firm with this one.

Let’s use the above example:

I wanted a stable, loving, wonderful partner… yet I kept attracting the exact same situationships that did not see my value. I was caught in this loop of desiring external validation, feeling scared to be alone, having my main source of excitement in life being from a “new fling”, etc.

…. these are all thoughts and behaviors that were not in alignment with the kind of person I wanted to attract. So it was not the fault of the external world. It was my own fault. You have the responsibility and power here.

So… be very serious with yourself here. Now that you have noticed and sat with your discomfort, let’s dive deeper.

Write down the kind of life you want to have.

• How do you want to overcome hardships when they arise?

• How do you treat yourself?

• How do you treat others?

• What do you want your life to feel like?

• How do you spend your days?

• What kind of friends and relationships do you have?

Once you are very clear and specific on what you want to attract, write down the current thoughts, behaviors, and patterns that you are currently carrying that are not in alignment with your dream life.

When I became so exhausted of sinking my energy into the wrong people, I swore off casual dating for a year. I did not give potential dates any energy or try to seek validation. I started creating my own excitement. I started sinking the time, attention, and love that I wanted from someone else into myself. I took myself on dates and cultivated my hobbies and interests.

My dream long-term partner (who I am still with to this day) came into my life 2 months later.

I was even extremely hesitant to date him at first, as I wanted to keep the entire year for myself! Isn’t that funny! That the partner I wanted for years finally came into my life, and I didn’t even really want to have a relationship at that point.

THAT is what it’s like to have a new identity.

3. You need to live as your dream self before you feel ready.

You can’t think your way into a new identity. You can’t wait until you don’t feel fear or until you or your life looks a certain way.

I remember this quote changed my mindset at the time so much that I made it my wallpaper:

….and that’s exactly how you have to think about this process. You close the gap between your current self and desired self by deciding to embody them today.

What no one tells you is that no one ever feels ready. I started my YouTube channel on my iPhone in my old dorm room. It’s become one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Thinking that the external world needs to feel or be a certain way before you feel and become your dream self is a myth. It’s literally the illusion of life. If life were a video game, that would be the final boss. You have everything you seek within you. Never doubt how powerful you are.

You can either feed your triggers, feed your old thought patterns, and feed the old identity that no longer aligns with you, or you can choose something different. Yes, of course, it will feel uncomfortable. But that’s because we are creatures of habit, not because it’s not true and not meant for you. You are meant for joy and light and abundance. Truly.

I love you I love you I love you!!! Hit Reply and let me know how this resonated, what you’re currently working on, etc.! 💌

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With love and light,

Emma