Hello, alchemists! 🫧✨

I am watching my dream life unfold before my very eyes. Coming from years of deep rumination and depression, I had no idea it could get this good.

Let this be your sign.

You can have a life full of magic, pinch-me moments, and unconditional love for yourself, your incredible loved ones, and the reality you experience.

Internal validation was one of the most important skills I needed to learn on this journey.

💌 Before we begin, Hit Reply and let me know 1) what you are currently working on and 2) what you want to learn more of! I read every response. ☺️

External validation isn’t just about caring what others think; it’s about making sure the life you are living is actually yours.

External validation is super sneaky, and it can look like:

• Waiting to be “ready” or waiting for permission to start something

• Thinking you can’t feel good until you ________ [i.e., get that relationship, get that closure, get that job, get that six pack.]

• Letting your mood get thrown off by external circumstances [i.e., that douche who cut you off in traffic, your coffee order got messed up, you bumped into your ex.]

• Listening to your limiting beliefs and ignoring your intuition [limitations come from past conditioning and the thoughts of others. Your intuition knows the right way for you. Here’s how to know the difference.]

• Escapism and finding comfort in vices such as doom-scrolling, substances, gossip, and complaining.

The 3-Step Process of Internal Validation

You can also click here to watch the YouTube video.

Step 1: Identifying your “external validation loops”

If you haven’t already, grab my free validation loop healing guide that walks you through exactly what this means.

Many people (including past Emma🤭) are stuck on the trigger-distract hamster wheel:

The first step of the process is becoming aware of where this pattern exists in your life.

1. What thoughts, people, circumstances, etc., are triggering you?

2. What do you immediately turn to in an attempt to alleviate that emotional discomfort?

Step 2: Bring the desired end-state into the present.

After paying close attention to your trigger-distract loops and immediate reactions, ask yourself:

• What is the end-state that I am craving in these triggered moments? [i.e., a call from someone, an acceptance letter, a bonus at work]

• How would I feel if that end-state were to happen? [Would you feel safe? Comfort? A sense of belonging and love? Power?]

• Now… how can you give that to yourself internally?  

Detach from the present situation. Allow your triggers to teach you.

Your trigger is either telling you 1) action needs to be taken, since a boundary was crossed, or something needs to change, OR 2) this trigger is a 3D representation of an inner wound that is present.

If you have had this trigger or pattern emerge for a long period of time, focus on #2.

Years ago, when I was going on dates, I attracted the same “situationship” three different times. It was three different people, but each situation left my body feeling the same: dysregulated, anxious, and depleted.

That’s when I noticed that this was a pattern, and I was the common denominator. Nothing was going to change until I did.

When I allowed myself to feel all of the emotions NOW that I was craving from the external world (such as comfort, love, stability, excitement), that is when I attracted my dream relationship.

I completely ignored the external world and started focusing on sinking my energy into what inspired me, what made my body feel light, and trusted my timeline. The external was a reflection of my internal world.

Step 3: Your “conditioning” versus your “calling”.

As I wrote in a previous letter on how to rewire your brain, thoughts come from either your conditioning (meaning: past fears, traumas, negativity from parents or peers), or your calling (Source, God, your intuition, your joy, what makes you light up inside).

Here’s a little excerpt:

Throughout this whole process, compassion and patience are necessary. This is because we are not taught how to do this. It is a skill that we need to learn, like any other.

Any thought such as “it won’t get any better,” or “I won’t be able to ever get over this,” is completely untrue.

How do I know this? The tension and resistance that you feel is your body sending you data that it is untrue. 

Thoughts that come from past traumas, absorbed negativity, and scarcity that don’t belong to you will send you that feeling.

True thoughts, coming from Source or your intuition, will always feel light.

You can learn more from the YouTube video 💕🫧

If you want to release trapped emotions and old energy, use this somatic healing meditation & workbook.

If you want to activate your dream life, use this highest timeline merge meditation & workbook.

…or! You can grab both at a discounted price!!

💌 Hit Reply and let me know what you thought of this week’s letter!

With so much love and light now and always,

Emma ✨🪄