Happy Sunday, lovely folks!! <3  

Here’s the truth: you can’t control your thoughts.

…aaaand this trigger that you’re experiencing will probably come back. 

Notice how those two sentences make you feel. Does it make the trigger worse? Does a sense of helplessness overcome your body? 

I’m right there with you. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought to myself, “Will this ever end?” 

But here is the truth you need to remind yourself: what you’re really seeking is not a desire to “control your thoughts.” 

It’s a desire to feel safe. 

Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and triggers become infinitely less scary once you develop safety within yourself. 

So, this is not a guide to “control your thoughts” but rather how to develop REAL inner safety.

The paradox is that once you have inner safety, you realize that it was never about the trigger, but rather about how you deal with it. 

1. Develop a real relationship with yourself

This morning, I was extremely triggered about something my partner did to me. Even though we talked about it a thousand times and the facts go against the story I was telling myself, I couldn’t shake the trigger. 

So, I sat right in front of the mirror and talked to myself.

I asked: What can I still help you with? What are you still trying to tell me about this situation? 

When you do this (whether in front of a mirror, in a journal, or… while driving if you’re like me😅), you’ll notice that it’s not you who is scared and triggered. There is another version of you speaking here. 

Now, this is extremely powerful. Because you are now meeting the triggered parts of you with grace and compassion. You are giving them space to tell you what they need. 

If you continue to do this, you’ll notice that even the darkest parts of you are not that scary.

That is what elevates your vibration from fear and shame to peace, joy, and love.

2. Pay attention to what is a fact vs. what is a story 

“The person I liked just ghosted me” is a fact. 

“I’m worthless and undeserving of love” is a story.

So is “They are better than me, and I can’t get any better.”

By becoming aware of your thoughts, you can distinguish between what is fact and what is fiction.

You might notice that the event itself is not triggering you, but rather your interpretation of that event. 

Which leads me to my next point… 

3. Embrace and be open to change 

There were foods you disliked as a child that you might love now. 

Your type might be different now compared to what it was in high school (lol I know mine is!). 

Meaning, interpretation always changes. Your interpretation of what happened to you will change, just like everything else in this life. 

You can embrace this by questioning the story you tell yourself. Do it gently from a loving place, rather than trying to force anything. 

Ask yourself: Is this true? Can you be completely sure that this story is true? 

You know how infants cry at the silliest things? A child might have a full breakdown because it doesn’t want broccoli or because it tripped from 5 inches higher than the ground. To them, this pain feels so real. To us, from a different perspective, we see it differently. 

That’s how the universe is looking at you. You might be so frustrated and bothered by this story you are telling yourself, while the universe is just smiling, because it knows how much you’ll evolve from this. 

Ask: What is the lesson the universe is trying to teach me? 

If you would like to support this work (it means the absolute world to me), you can buy me a coffee here :) 

💌 Let me know what you thought of this letter! I’ll see you next week. ❤️

With love and light, 

Emma