Happy Sunday, alchemist! 💖

The agenda for this week is to remind you that the voice of comparison is not your voice.

We’re going to rewire you out of it today with a trusty 3-step process so you can carry these good vibes for the rest of the week. If you’re new here, hit reply and tell me what brought you here and what you’re currently working on! 💌 I read every response.

Before we get into it, the waitlist window for the 15-day challenge, the Dream Self Blueprint, closes in 2 DAYS!! 🥳 If you’re already on the waitlist and received an email confirmation from me, there is nothing else you need to do! BUT if you want to get on the waitlist and get first dibs to challenge yourself for 15 days of releasing old patterns and building the structure of your dream self, reply “waitlist” and I’ll get you on! 💕💫

Why does your brain compare?

Comparison does not mean you are insecure or that you are doing anything wrong. Comparison is literally wired into our biology, and for good reason!!

Thousands of years ago, when we were exploring the wilderness together in small tribes, access to resources could be directly tied to survival. If someone else had more food or resources than you, that would naturally trigger a fight-or-flight fear response.

Uhhh… they have more berries than me… does that mean there won’t be enough for me…? Where did they get those berries from!? They must know something I don’t!! 

So, voila! The brain got trained to be REALLY good at noticing what other people have.

BUT! We are now in a beautiful position to evolve our consciousness beyond automatically feeding those thoughts of comparison and fear. You now know that you live in an ever-expanding, infinite universe. Someone else having something doesn’t mean they are taking it away from you. It actually serves as evidence that it’s possible for you, too. There are MORE than enough berries to go around and then some. 🫐🫐🫐

So, let’s get into it:

Step 1: When a thought leaves you ruminating or anxious… check its source.

Hint: a thought that is true at the deepest level or a thought from your highest self will never leave you in rumination or fear!

This doesn’t mean that every uncomfortable thought is wrong. Learning how to sit with discomfort and uncertainty is a fantastic skill to have. But there is a difference between a thought that brings you deeper into yourself and your soul purpose, and a thought that sends you into a spiral of trying to predict an outcome or protect yourself from something that hasn’t even happened yet.

So when you notice yourself ruminating, or you get hit with the fear-comparison loop, pause and ask: Where is this thought coming from?

Is this coming from my fear brain that automatically compares? Is this coming from my old identity or a desire to control the outcome? Create that space between you and the thought.

Step 2: Don’t fight the fear-comparison pattern with force.

Now that you’ve paused before acting or identifying with the thought (WOOHOO! That’s where all magical co-creation begins!! 🥳), don’t try to wish it away or force it down. That’s trying to beat fear at its own game, which can’t be done.

Try this: envision your fearful, triggered thoughts like a wounded puppy on your doorstep. It is howling for help, clearly hurt and confused. It is lost and in need of direction and safety. It isn’t intentionally trying to hurt you, but if you try to force it off of your doorstep, push it away, or see it as something you need to fight, it will become even more terrified and even bite.

What happens in your body when you really visualize that? The fear and old patterns are not more powerful than you, because that perspective comes from fear. Just watch it, as if it is a wounded, scared little creature that deep down knows it needs help.

Now, having this perspective, how would you approach this pattern? Maybe you’d take a deep breath and ground yourself. You’d make sure you approach them slowly and carefully. Maybe you’d ease off the tension and urgency a bit.

…which brings me to:

Step 3: The art of redirection.

It is none of our business to try and control our thoughts. We can’t always control which puppy ends up on our doorstep.

Thoughts are random. They’re not personal. Everyone, at some point or another, has had a thought of comparison, fear, or rumination. However, it IS our business to learn the art of guiding and redirecting our thoughts.

Your brain is an incredible supercomputer that receives roughly 1 billion bits of data from your sensory experience every second. Yes. Every SECOND.

Each one of these tiny squiggles is a neuron that fires at a synapse, sending electrical signals that communicate with one another. These little cells learn through REPETITION.

As Donald Hebb famously said, “What fires together, wires together.”

But you are the co-coder with the universe of your supercomputer brain. So I invite you to explore the following prompts:

• How can I approach my comparison thoughts with more ease?

• Can I use a triggered thought as a CUE to deepen my breath? (This is literally what rewiring your brain is. Rather than using it as a cue to think more or automatically believe that reality, you are using it as a cue to lean into TRUST. Just because a thought pops up in your consciousness does not mean it needs to be fed.)

• Can I use comparison as a reminder to come back to myself rather than looking outside of myself for proof or certainty? (the practice of internal validation!!)

• What version of me believes that others have more or that I’m on the wrong path? How old is this version of me? What would my highest self tell this version of me?

• Notice how your body responds to the following sentences: Everything is happening in my favor, even in moments when it doesn’t feel like it. The universe always makes up for lost time. All I need to do is properly tend to the present, and the future will work itself out. Life is not a zero-sum game. If I have the desire, I also have the capability, and all I need to focus on is how I show up today. Notice what brought you ease and clarity, and write it down on a piece of paper to put up somewhere you can see and repeat it to yourself.

That’s it for today, alchemy club! 💖 

Remember to hit reply and tell me what resonated with you and what you’re currently working on, and include “waitlist” if you want first access to the Dream Self Blueprint challenge!! 💌💕 

I’m so happy you’re here. ❤️🫂

With so much love, now and always,

Emma Karólyna